Flattery vs. Criticism
This quote is #goals for me. I am not sure how one frees themselves from the shackles of what other people think of them, but I am totally into finding out in this lifetime.
It doesn't matter if "strong is the new pretty," it still sets up a system where girls are looking to be validated by being good enough at a certain thing.
As a female who was praised often for both my strength and my brains, I can attest to the fact that it did not save me from the perils of seeking validation and acceptance from outside sources.
And then! Not only are we at risk of manipulation when we care too much about flattery, but criticism is simply the other side of the same coin. One just feels better, at first. The truth is that they both take power out of our hands and give it to someone else.
I've been thinking about this a lot—the proverbial two sides of the same coin:
The crush is one side, the heartbreak another.
Flattery and criticism.
Hope and disappointment.
How do we get closer to the fine line that separates the sides? Where is the one-ness so we aren't pulled back and forth so much?
Probably meditation, I know. I'm working on that, too.
In my life, I have made lots of decisions based on positive feedback from other people. In some ways, this is fine. In other ways, it's what starts training us away from our inner voice at a very young age.
I'm using this summer to reconnect to my inner voice as much as I can. I've been using the standard tricks—exercise, meditation, rest, and journaling. Nothing too innovative, but I'll tell you what...it's been working for me.
It's also the right timing. This summer is forcing me into a place of deep acceptance and self reflection. I just moved to a new home, and outside of my work/parenting/cooking routine, my hours are big and open and quiet. I am getting to know the trees in my yard. I am learning new landscapes. I am remembering myself.
Did you read my post about this particular super power of summer? It's amazing how much we fight against inside ourselves sometimes. Putting the fight down is hard at first, but powerful.
Summer is vast and open, it is hot and bright, it pulls our hearts open.
Expand your wings.