Love it anyway
"Sooner or later, you lose everything. Love it anyway."
This quote is from the twitter feed of my friend's father (Rest in Peace, John Perry), and it struck me hard the moment I read it.
Mostly because lately I've been thinking about exactly this. There are the endless clichés that all more or less say: the only constant is change.
It’s interesting how often as humans we seek stability, comfort, permanence. We find things (or people) and we give them meaning. In assigning this meaning, we are actually defining ourselves and giving meaning to our own life, our own being. This is not always conscious or intentional, but it happens. And then by giving this thing meaning, we give it significance, importance, w e i g h t.
the things move on. We lose them. someone borrows them. they leave us. time happens, things shift, the tide changes once again.
In my years in this life, I have loved many people. Some of them have left. Or I have left. Sometimes I find them again and the love goes on. Some of them disappear entirely, somehow, through the tiny cracks of space and time and I remember them only faintly, a light imprint on my heart.
Sometimes I find people and all at once they mean so much to me, so many things, so many identities, dreams, desires, definitions.
Sometimes I love immediately and hard; sometimes slowly and with caution.
It is different every time.
Similarly with the leaving, the losing. Sometimes it is abrupt and sudden, sometimes it is so slow that it is at first unnoticeable.
But one thing I know for sure is that nothing stays forever as it is.
Holding on to what we think we have is like grabbing a fistful of water: you open your hands and there is nothing left; you simply look at your open palms and wonder why you had them clenched so hard, for so long.
The other thing I know for sure is this: Love it anyway.
p.s. this post was originally written in July, 2014. I’m reposting because sometimes I need to re-read my own words. I’d also like to dedicate this piece to John Perry Barlow, who left this earthly plane in 2018, leaving behind many lessons in love and beyond. And as I mentioned in this piece, it was inspired by his words.